Daily Archives: September 22, 2010

Orange Angel.

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I experienced a miracle this past weekend.  I saw an orange angel in the sweets shop where I was waiting to buy a scoop of ice-cream. This human-sized oompa-loompa was female, in her mid-40s (I think), and wearing a one-piece tight, white jumpsuit.  “My God,” I thought as I first laid eyes on her.  I couldn’t believe my eyes that I would come across such a vision.

I first came face to face with the orange mask that was her face.  I had seen that color orange only on overly-baked women residing in Los Angeles, where tanning, whether natural of fake, is a necessity, a way of life.  I saw the burnt creases on her face, the bright, pink, matte lipstick; the bleach-blonde hair.  She looked at me straight on.  I couldn’t tell what color her eyes  were as they had been diligently rimmed with excessive black eyeliner.  All in all, she was a vision.  An angel who appeared straight out of my dreams.

I hesitated for only a second; I knew I had to save this moment – I had to keep this angel’s memory alive!  I ran back to the car and I grabbed my camera, and successfully (I think?) managed to take some pictures of her as I pretended to take pictures of my friend, San Diego, who apparently could only muster up her “Hi, I’m 10 years old and I’m taking a picture!” face.

The photos made me really happy, and yes, I admit, they aren’t my best work…but they do convey this woman’s “je nes sais quoi.”  Long may you live, orange angel.

What is white, orange, and blonde all over?

The most natural tan in the world!

Natural blonde hair, natural pink lipstick = Classy!

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The Antoine miracle.

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Antoine Dodson is a man who has given me much to smile about this summer.  Most people have probably seen the original news clip where Antoine rants and rages against the intruders who climbed up his house’s door ledge, entered his sister’s bedroom and tried to rape her. The perp was described simply as “idiot from the projects.”

Thankfully no one was hurt; but whoever did it got their warning from Antoine.  “Weeeeeeeeell, obviously we have a rapist in Lincoln Park…hide your kids, hide your wives and hide your husbands, cause they rapin’ everybody up in here.”

The original clip was awesome.  But the rant’s auto-tune remix by the Gregory Brothers is a work of art, inducing a never-ending stream of giggles all while you simultaneously move your body to the beat.  It invokes a butt-shaking, hands-in-the-air, lets-get-crazy-in-da-club kinda mood.  It’s probably the catchiest song I’ve heard all year. 24 million YouTube views later and I think we can say this is the  Internet sensation of 2010.  Hell, the song is even available on iTunes.

The best part of the story is that the Gregory Brothers did the right thing and split all the money they made from the video.  Antoine was thus able to buy a new house and move his family to a safer place, and he’s going back to school to get his Associate Business degree, hoping one day to open up a salon or a hotel.

Antoine rules! “You are so duuuummmbbbb!!!”

Check out the hilarity here: http://tinyurl.com/37abkof