Category Archives: Internet

Uuummm, ok, I have no words.

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…the hell?  It’s just so…I don’t know.  What the hell is going on? I don’t think I can ever listen to this song again without thinking of an older lady using power tools and swaying her ass back and forth as she seductively licks her lips. At least the video is highlighting an important issue: the Equal PayDay movement, a campaign to bring attention to the unequal wage differences between men and woman. I can definitely root for that. I’m just not sure anyone who watches this video actually pays attention to the supporting copy. Frankly, I was flabbergasted at the sight of shaking booties and boobies.

However, despite the initial reaction, this needs to be said:  I do love that most of these ladies look pretty damn awesome for their age.  Botox and plastic surgery be damned.  I’d love to look like some of them when I’m in my 60s. I’m talking to you, Nancy and Clara.

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A Facebook hiatus does people good.

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This past Sunday I made the decision to temporarily de-activate my Facebook account, just for a few days.  It was a personal litmus test, to see if I could go about my day without obsessing about a virtual application that has seemingly taken over what little social life I have.  Often times I found myself grabbing my laptop and logging in simply to see what was “going on” on Facebook, only to find myself still “online” four hours later.  The problem is once you’re logged in, the warm laptop buzzing away in your lap as you lay on the couch in the early afternoon, it’s easy to meander over to other websites, click links, watch videos……..and the next thing my entire afternoon is wasted. Can we say addicted, much?

John Lennon once said “Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted,” which is a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with.  However, more often than not I was bored with surfing the Net.  Facebook would rope me in and I would aimlessly meander from site to site, hoping to find something interesting to capture my attention.  I would not define that as time wasted that I enjoyed.

It was a gradual decision to de-activate Facebook.  First I cleaned out my “friends” with whom I have no real semblance of a friendship – acquaintances with which I exchange a hello every now and then.  Or people who know me via other family members.  I don’t really know them as people – I just recognize their faces.  There were teenage girls that played basketball with my sister on the local team, for example.  A hello in person seemed like it was enough – having them as Facebook friends didn’t really add any quality to my life. Did I really need to know whether they were single, in a relationship, sad, or happy?  I wasn’t really interested in their love proclamations either.  I grew out of my teens long ago, and would never want to re-visit those years.  Bogging down my day with the inane, self-obsessed thoughts of teen girls was making me roll my eyes to the point where I’d be on the floor looking for them because they dropped out of my head.  No thank you.  NEXT!

My clean-up then moved on to people who I knew socially in another life, who were nice enough people but the only reason I kept them on as friends was for the trolling satisfaction of keeping up to date with their life without really caring about it.  They’re not my friends.  I don’t really know them and I don’t hang out with them.   See ya later!  My Facebook list is now composed of actual friends and people I like and appreciate; and most importantly, people with whom I can’t feasibly keep regular face-to-face or phone contact with – for this sliver of people’s lives Facebook is a good tool to stay in touch.

Eventually I made the decision to go for temporary de-activation – my motivation was to allow myself to get back in touch with myself.  (How new-age does that sound? I’m not a hippie, I swear.)  But that is the truth.  I spent countless hours in a virtual world without giving enough attention to my actual life and it caused me to feel anxious and frazzled.  I felt that I needed something more – spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

The honest truth is that I didn’t really miss Facebook much.  And I was able to do much more enjoyable things with my time: I took some awesome afternoon naps.  I went to the gym. I went out to coffee with my family.  I read a book (which I hadn’t done in what seemed like the longest time…I was too busy browsing the Internet.)  I did yoga.  I meditated.  Because I focused on doing things that were good for my mental health, coincidentally I smoked less weed, too. Taking a break from social technology, it seems, did me good.  Moving forward I’m going to try to use it in a more conscious way, although saying that feels like an oxymoron.  Social networking doesn’t breed consciousness, but it’s up to us to use it in a way that enriches our lives rather than bog it down with frivolous information.  (Aaaaaaand that is your life lesson for the day, people.  You’re welcome.)

The de-activation lasted three days.  Apparently I was missed.  And let’s face it; these conversational gems can only happen in the social networking world.

I'm taking suggestions on what my answer should be to all of them.

The pleasure of a sponge.

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When I watched the video below I knew one thing was for sure:  the very sweet-looking lady is definitely passionate about what she likes.

Quoted straight from the video:

“Three sizes, because I just can’t stand just one size.”

“I squeezed, and squeezed,  and squeezed, and squeezed.”

“If you DO get it on your hands, gloves are incredible.”

“Oops, a virgin edge!”

“I love to wiggle the whole thing.”

“Of course you can go straight.”

“Is this fun or what?”

“This was one night that I did not sleep.  It is SO hard to stop.”

Arts and crafts are taken to a whole other level, people. Get your minds out of the gutter.

 

 

Nipple foot.

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Woman Grows Full Size Nipple On Foot.

Say what?  An actual nipple located on the bottom of someone’s foot?  This is like the unicorn equivalent in the foot fetish world – you know it exists but nobody has ever seen it.  (I totally pulled that out of my ass.  I have no idea if foot fetishists want or wish for nipples on their feet.)

What made the most impression on me is that girl’s big toe.  It’s so round and stubby.  It kinda looks like a marshmallow, doesn’t it?

 

 

Nerve-buster.

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It seems lately that every website I visit is inundated with this morose, idiotic, talking banner urging me to answer some questions for a chance to win an iPhone!  OH MY GOD!  An iPhone!  For Free!  This is obviously the greatest offer in the history of the world……….

The most annoying part of the banner is the talking lady that will go through the full sales pitch.  Sometimes she repeats the sales pitch over and over again, so long as you stay on the page.  And, of course, the banner does not have a “sound-off” button…so you’re stuck with her until you leave the page. I’m convinced they are the devil’s work.

“Welcome!  Answer the question for a chance to win a new iPhone!  Click on the link and win an iPhone now!”

It has seriously become the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard.  Can anyone relate to how annoying it is to listen to a grating voice while trying to read/watch/listen to something that actually interests you? Every time I hear her I’m tempted to punch my laptop screen…so far I’ve succeeded in maintaining a functioning laptop, but I can’t be really sure of how things will turn out.  I’ll keep y’all posted though.

This is a first-world problem, at its finest, I must say.

DIE iPHONE LADY.

People should always be this honest with one another.

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The Stupidest 15 Seconds of Tonight’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

Sometimes we all have the need to answer to people with the honesty that we long to express.

And it makes for an awesome clip, as illustrated in the link above.  Short, sweet, and to the point.

His expression is certainly perplexing…

Doomed.

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Frankly, today’s young generation scares me…

I think all my hope for the future is wholly destroyed <<<shaking head>>>.