There are some mornings where I wake up in a daze, muttering, literally, “What the f*ck?”
My dreams lately have been so bizarre, I’m pretty sure their only meaning is that I’m going crazy. Case in point: the dream I had early this morning.
So I am in my aunt’s yard, playing with my little niece. The aunts are buzzing all around, cleaning house etc. Actually I think they were doing laundry, old-school style – hand-washing everything on laundry boards, kerchiefs neatly holding back their hair, aprons tightly wrapped around their waists.
It was as if I had traveled back 80 years, back when people still laundry by hand because washing machines were not invented yet. And yet I was dressed in modern clothing. Apparently I was immune to the dress code of the times.
As I bend down (always by my knees to prevent back pain, of course) to grab something from the ground I notice this protrusion popping out of my leg. It is a thumb-sized lump housed comfortably in what looked like an artery just below my calf. Like it was a pea-sized piece of fat traveling all along the artery and it got stuck at some random point and it just started to build up. The skin at the point was stretched to accommodate this protuberance and it looked like coagulated chicken fat. Or a really bad case of phlebitis (see picture to the right.) Needless to say, I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
Concerned I call over my aunt who looks at it and says, “Oh, that’s nothing, it’s just a little bit of fat stuck in the vein, we can just push it out.” So she proceeds to push this lump all along the artery, going past the knee and all along my thigh. And as she reached the top of my thigh she grabs a pin to poke a hole in my skin so she can push out the lump completely. And in my dream, and this is no joke, I vividly remember saying: “Shoot, I wish I had my camera here so I can put this on the blog.”
So yeah, bizarelly enough, I have this blog in my dreams too. What the f*ck?