I recently came across an online article on www.lemondrop.com, which caught my attention. The article interviewed Kevin Hansen, author of a new book titled “Secret Regrets: What If You Had a Second Chance?” (Kevin Hansen being of no relation to Chris Hansen, the debonair, austere host of Dateline: To Catch a Predator – a modern hero in our technology-laden times.)
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival.” – C. S. Lewis
I don’t make friends very easily. It’s not a recent development; I’ve just always been like that. Even as a young child in elementary school I recall being the “outsider”. Hanging out with the girls in my class during breaks I would lay low and just listen. Always the observer, rarely the participant. It makes it hard to create enduring friendships. I guess I’ve always appreciated having a few good friends that I know well rather than a big group of friends that I don’t know much about. Often times I get bored with people’s bullshit. I’d rather entertain myself than listen to their crap. Maybe there’s an anti-social gene in me, who knows…Then again if those people were actual friends then I wouldn’t get bored of them, would I?
Here in Greece I’ve found it really hard to make good friends. Outside of Athens people tend to get too involved in your business, gossip about you, bring out jealousies and envy and generally act like passive-aggressive biotches. It’s that small town mentality. The city, as ugly and hectic as it is, offers a layer of protection from the ugly side of the “acquaintance” – everybody is too busy and stressed to deal with inconsequential things. And I say acquaintances and not friendships because if it is a friendship then the jealousy, the gossip et al. shouldn’t even surface. Perhaps frenemies is the word I’m looking for. Yes – all I see here are frenemies, not friends. I haven’t met anyone save for a handful of people that are worth pursuing friendships with. We just don’t click. There’s no chemistry.
Living in Greece has made me appreciate my friends back in the States. I miss my friends that I’ve known since high school, people that know you so well they can finish your sentences (Hi Noms and Lou Lou!); and I miss the friends that I made through work, lovely people that are joyous and happy and are just nice, and you can have a normal conversation with them about Grey’s Anatomy or food or the movies and you don’t resort to shit talking (Hi TT gang!). It took a while to reconnect with them, I must admit. I moved and kind of disappeared for about a year. I got caught up in my new surroundings, the new people – it was not the most honorable behavior on my part, I must admit. Looking back now I really truly hate that I was incognito for so long. But my friends took me back with so much joy (as much as they could muster?) and really, I appreciate it more than anything.
So here are some pictures of some of my friends! (I hope said friends don’t mind!) It’s not all of them, because unfortunately a lot of my pics with them are currently living in my PC back in California. DRAT!
What I do know is that the friendships and connections that I have really do mean a lot to me. I may disappear into my own little shell at times, but at the end of the day, without those connections there really is not much to life, is there?