The Huffington Post recently posted a list of America’s Top 10 Rudest Cities, which they gathered from Travel & Leisure Magazine, and surprisingly the #1 choice is Los Angeles. I think most people would have thought New York would be the #1 choice – New Yorkers are known to be a bit rough around the edges, after all. But Los Angeles makes sense to me. Here is a memorable exchange I had with the employee from the car rental agency who happened to be helping me out on a recent trip to Los Angeles:
Me (with a big smile): So do you have any suggestions for a first-time Los Angeles driver?
Employee (with an even bigger smile): Oh yes, if somebody flips you off while you’re driving, just go ahead and do it right back. Just flip them off.
Travel & Leisure Magazine knows their shit, man…
I experienced a miracle this past weekend. I saw an orange angel in the sweets shop where I was waiting to buy a scoop of ice-cream. This human-sized oompa-loompa was female, in her mid-40s (I think), and wearing a one-piece tight, white jumpsuit. “My God,” I thought as I first laid eyes on her. I couldn’t believe my eyes that I would come across such a vision.
I first came face to face with the orange mask that was her face. I had seen that color orange only on overly-baked women residing in Los Angeles, where tanning, whether natural of fake, is a necessity, a way of life. I saw the burnt creases on her face, the bright, pink, matte lipstick; the bleach-blonde hair. She looked at me straight on. I couldn’t tell what color her eyes were as they had been diligently rimmed with excessive black eyeliner. All in all, she was a vision. An angel who appeared straight out of my dreams.
I hesitated for only a second; I knew I had to save this moment – I had to keep this angel’s memory alive! I ran back to the car and I grabbed my camera, and successfully (I think?) managed to take some pictures of her as I pretended to take pictures of my friend, San Diego, who apparently could only muster up her “Hi, I’m 10 years old and I’m taking a picture!” face.
The photos made me really happy, and yes, I admit, they aren’t my best work…but they do convey this woman’s “je nes sais quoi.” Long may you live, orange angel.
What is white, orange, and blonde all over?
The most natural tan in the world!
Natural blonde hair, natural pink lipstick = Classy!