Tag Archives: offal

Family wedding…a photo story.


Ah, the joys of a wedding/baptism combo…  I cannot tell you how absolutely awesome it is to have to sit through an Orthodox religious ceremony…much less two ceremonies, back to back.   You’re essentially listening to a priest moaning some indecipherable crap for two hours.  The only shining light in this situation was that the church was so tiny all the guests lounged in the courtyard enjoying the evening breeze.  I guess there is a God!

The blessed event that I’m referring to is the second wedding of my cousin Thanos and the baptism of his baby. The bride wore white even though she and Thanos have been married for almost a year.  The first time the bride was visibly pregnant – I guess she really wanted to see herself skinny and in a wedding dress.

It’s just a bunch of bullshit to me.  From what I gathered,  the whole affair was orchestrated simply so the bride can wear a proper wedding dress and play the role of the blushing bride.  When you ask the groom “So, are you happy?”, his answer shouldn’t be: “Yeah, sure, well you know, it just had to get done.”  Better them than me, is what I say.

So an occasion like this — whether your heart’s in it or not — requires some preparation…specifically with my seaweed pore-cleansing mask.  Behold!

Seaweeding myself into a proper face.

I mean, really, do I not look like I grabbed a handful of poo and just smeared it all over my face?   Menacing look comes free of charge.

Of course all this preparation has its desired results:

Sisters are doing it for themselves!

This picture says so much:  My brother-in-law, Takis, is not really into the picture; my sister, clearly is; I’m apparently the victim of someone’s bad photo skills and my mom, once again, can’t keep her eyes open to save her life:

The epitome of an awesome photo.

The epitome of an awesome photo.

I know I’m biased, but isn’t my brother just the handsomest?

Calvin Klein model in the making...

There were some nice moments in the wedding…or rather, the reception afterwards.  Here’s a sweet moment with my 12-year-old nephew.  Can you tell we’re the first ones to arrive at the reception?

A serving of kokoretsi always makes my day.  For those who don’t know, it’s lamb offal wrapped with lamb intestines and cooked slowly on a spit.  Delicioso! That lamb didn’t die in vain…

Half eaten cause it's just so delicious!

And here’s the happy expecting couple, my sis and her husband. I’m pretty sure with both of them being so tall their kid will be born tall enough to just walk out of my sister’s vag.

Baby-making machines

I’ve never been the best photographer, in fact I’m the opposite of good, but I still love this photo because you can still see the joy in my grandma’s face as she’s dancing.

I feel like daaaancing, YEAH!

We ate, we drank, we shit-talked.  Overall it was an ok night.  By 2:30 a.m. I was soaked in sweat and almost all my face bronzer had been efficiently wiped off my face.  Dancing around in circles can really take a toll on ya, believe me.  The best part of the evening was the maid of honor/godmother.  I mean, do I really need to say anything?

Identity has been hidden to protect the innocent.

The hair…the horror!  She looks like somebody stuck her in a clothes dryer and POOF!  this hair came out.  I was on a mission ALL night to get a decent picture of her.  I literally have maybe 20 pictures of her from the side, the back, from far away.  I was prairie-dogging, people.  One minute I’m sitting in my chair eating, the next minute I’m rapidly turning on my camera and getting up out of my chair trying to snap a picture.  It wasn’t my high point, let’s just say that….

Went to bed at 3 a.m., woke up at 7:30 a.m. to get to work.  I’m surprised I’m able to even write this post, download the photos and put it all together.