Tag Archives: postaday2011

When bad passport photos happen to good people.

Standard

Took a photo for my passport renewal yesterday and I pretty much look like a serial killer.  And my hair…I have no idea what it was trying to do yesterday other than make me look like a vagrant.

It’s just my luck that I had to take this photo on (1) a hot, humid day (YUCK), and (2) a day on which suffered from food poisoning. This is the second bad passport photo I’ve taken in a decade.  Could this be some kind of karmic retribution for past indiscretions?  Better luck in 10 years, I guess.

Advertisements

I like my food dead and unmoving, thanks.

Standard

I do enjoy sashimis, ceviches and tartares on occasion, but there’s a limit to what I’ll try.  This is my limit, I think.  When food flails on a plate, then I know I’ve gone way beyond the line of what I can stomach.  (Or in this case, what I *can’t* stomach.) I don’t want my food to dance, I just want it to just lay there on a plate, like a college kid who’s passed out after a night of hard partying.  Just lay there, and don’t move.

Here’s a link to the original article, via Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/20/live-dancing-squid-dish_n_905172.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

 

The pleasure of a sponge.

Standard

When I watched the video below I knew one thing was for sure:  the very sweet-looking lady is definitely passionate about what she likes.

Quoted straight from the video:

“Three sizes, because I just can’t stand just one size.”

“I squeezed, and squeezed,  and squeezed, and squeezed.”

“If you DO get it on your hands, gloves are incredible.”

“Oops, a virgin edge!”

“I love to wiggle the whole thing.”

“Of course you can go straight.”

“Is this fun or what?”

“This was one night that I did not sleep.  It is SO hard to stop.”

Arts and crafts are taken to a whole other level, people. Get your minds out of the gutter.

 

 

We have a reason for being lazy!

Standard

A guest of Greek and German descent was checking out of the hotel this morning.

“I hope everything was good with your stay.  Did you enjoy your time in the area?,” I asked him.

He replied:  “Yes, it was great, but this heat is just so oppressive.  Everyone always says the Greeks are lazy, but with this heat you can’t really do much, can you?  It drains you.”

Gee, I’m *SO* glad that our purported laziness correlates directly to the thermometer.  I was going to be really butt-hurt if you thought we were lazy all year round, you know…

 

 

Bikini Theory.

Standard

Here’s my theory:  a woman who wears a (what-can-barely-be-classified-as-a) bikini, secretly hates herself and is thus trying to attract all of our attention to give herself value – even if it’s just for her T&A.

Discuss.

Side note:  Are asses like this even possible in nature?

The only question that comes to mind is: Whatchu gonna do with all that junk inside your trunk?

 

Nipple foot.

Standard

Woman Grows Full Size Nipple On Foot.

Say what?  An actual nipple located on the bottom of someone’s foot?  This is like the unicorn equivalent in the foot fetish world – you know it exists but nobody has ever seen it.  (I totally pulled that out of my ass.  I have no idea if foot fetishists want or wish for nipples on their feet.)

What made the most impression on me is that girl’s big toe.  It’s so round and stubby.  It kinda looks like a marshmallow, doesn’t it?

 

 

Nerve-buster.

Standard

It seems lately that every website I visit is inundated with this morose, idiotic, talking banner urging me to answer some questions for a chance to win an iPhone!  OH MY GOD!  An iPhone!  For Free!  This is obviously the greatest offer in the history of the world……….

The most annoying part of the banner is the talking lady that will go through the full sales pitch.  Sometimes she repeats the sales pitch over and over again, so long as you stay on the page.  And, of course, the banner does not have a “sound-off” button…so you’re stuck with her until you leave the page. I’m convinced they are the devil’s work.

“Welcome!  Answer the question for a chance to win a new iPhone!  Click on the link and win an iPhone now!”

It has seriously become the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard.  Can anyone relate to how annoying it is to listen to a grating voice while trying to read/watch/listen to something that actually interests you? Every time I hear her I’m tempted to punch my laptop screen…so far I’ve succeeded in maintaining a functioning laptop, but I can’t be really sure of how things will turn out.  I’ll keep y’all posted though.

This is a first-world problem, at its finest, I must say.

DIE iPHONE LADY.